


The Coupons Ain't Worth It

by Forest_Awakens



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, WIld's Magic Shop - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fantasy, Folklore gone wrong, Four is a little shit, Magic, Noodle's Wiggles!, Sky is here for a bit, Time is also a little shit, Twilight didn't deserve it, Wild's Magic Shop AU, Wind just wants that cash, tiny bros - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forest_Awakens/pseuds/Forest_Awakens
Summary: The boys decide to try out an older method of contacting brownies and asking for their help. This of course, goes less according to plan because Hylia forbid they just ask for their shit back like normal people.Alternatively: Four is a little shit and the boys probably deserved this.
Relationships: Noodle & Warriors, Tiny Bros
Kudos: 47





	The Coupons Ain't Worth It

"This is stupidly easy," Twilight mumbled.  
"Well it shouldn't exactly be rocket science, wolf boy," Legend huffed. The seven of them sat in a loose circle, Warriors holding Noodle who was suffering from a bad case of the wiggles and Hyrule sitting on Wild's shoulder who held a book on old brownie folklore and myths.  
"I still say we ask him, he's a reasonable guy," Warriors pointed out, "Besides, Time has a million coupons, he shouldn't need Four to get him more."  
Time, who was smiling mischievously, set down a bowl of the good shit. Prime, full priced, on brand M&Ms that weren’t bought two years prior and were found in the bottom of a box--he wasn’t salty over this no matter what the others said.  
"It's the magnum opus coupon of the discount calamity Malon is planning to reign down upon Walmart.” Time shrugged, “Besides, I'm curious to what Four has dug up."  
Warriors eyes the room around them, he had never been quite so sure on what Four was, magical or just a really well trained mouse. "What exactly do you mean by that?"  
It was Wind’s turn to grin from his spot next to them, "I've gotten fifty bucks from Four and Grandma got some old photos that were sure as hell not from here."  
"I think its a black market," Legend said, "Like a tiny person black market because I swear the shit that Brownie pulls up is fascinatingly strange."  
“Guys that's not the answer to my question.”  
Twilight glanced up to see Four staring at them from one of the kitchen shelves. It could have been Twilight's imagination, but he swore the little guy wore the most terrifying smirk he had ever seen. Vaguely he feared for his life.  
"Alright!" Wild closed the book and set it off to the side, "So how many of us are missing something?"  
Everyone but Wind and Twilight raised their hands. Legend made a so-so motion.  
"So we haveta be missing something or...?" Twilight trailed off.  
Wild shook his head, "Nope, I was just curious. Apparently this was really only done for missing keys that brownies took. According to Wind and old man dad we can get other things back as well."  
Time nodded in confirmation as Noodle let out a gnarled roar comparable to that of a possum’s hubris filled scream. She wiggled furiously to try and get at the food placed in the middle of their loose circle. A bowl of milk, M&M, and Wind's grandma's soup--Twilight wasn't jealous at all-- as well as a whole thing of tiny baked goods sat there untouched. Twilight was dying of starvation.  
"Hey Wind, how have you been getting to Four if he lives here?" Wild asked curiously when Legend ran off to grab a bag of chips to be his offering, apparently having forgotten.  
"I broke in."  
"I'm not surprised in the slightest, remind me to get you a key."  
"FUCK YEAH!"  
“Can we please not encourage him?” Twilight begged.  
“Nah”  
“ Cub please.”  
Time chuckled as Legend plopped down, "Alright let's get this show on the road, I dunno about y'all but I have something important after this to do."  
"Old man has a date!" Legend cackled the others joined in various states of chuckling and giggling as Time gave them a smile and waved them off.  
"Yeah, yeah, Wild if you would."  
He nodded animatly, clearing his throat, brushing the hair from his face. "Alright! So we all need to close our eyes and hope that the BENEVOLENT"--he shouted the last part, clearly directing a glare to the carnage of the sticky note incident--"Brownie returns what he has found that was previously lost. It's a waiting game, don't touch the food or else you are giving him permission to mess up your shit, its a trade off I think."  
Wind grinned maniacally, "He's gonna chuck our shit at us!"  
Legend dead panned, "He already does that, what's so different now?"  
"Its shit you most likely want chucked at you."  
"Huh, that's a first."  
Wild motioned for everyone to close their eyes, Warriors covered Noodle's who promptly ceased wiggles and snuggled into his lap. The dragon let out a happy coo when he stretched beneath her chin.  
Silence resounded around them, impenetrable, crickets outside and the distant shouts of Ravio and Malon who were still struggling to get a goat out of the sewers was the only sounds that could be heard. Twilight was vaguely aware of the air of apprehension and the utter mistake this would be. He realized he was about to have a bad day  
Twilight let out a screech as a tire hit the ground right behind him. He scrambled forward, sending things flying as he ran to get out of the way of the bouncing tire. Hyrule leapt into the air as coupons--so many terrible expired coupons for Joe’s Crab shack. So many crabs --rained down upon them, one for half of any discounted purchase fluttering into the outstretched hand of Time. He looked way too happy with the situation, calmly sitting with his eyes still shut.  
Wild's house keys hit Wild in the back as he was smacked in the face by a stapled packet of printouts Twilight was sure had been thrown away on accident a week before.  
Wind was cackling, holding handfuls of coins and bills as well as a shining ring. A pastel pink paper boat, soggy from the rain and mud sat next to him. More coins continued to rain down with the coupons, some rusted and others definitely not of any use in Hyrule.  
Warriors was holding Noodle's missing tag as said dragon gnawed on a metal rod. Their blue ribbon for first place at the Westmonster Dog Show was tacked onto her scales proudly.  
Legend was in a fetal position, screaming bloody murder as so many enchanted coins and amulets fell onto him like metal rain, all somehow misplaced by either him or Ravio. What appeared to be half of his horde had ended up in Four's over the course of the small buddy's spring cleaning session.  
Finally the rain stopped, everyone opening their eyes. Four had somehow with the help of Hyrule, dragged off the food--or what wasn't spilt on the floor from Twilight's mad dash to outrun the tire he remembered had fallen off the back of the jeep a week prior.  
"Well!" Wild smiled brightly, "I'd say that was successful, thanks for the tip, guys!"  
Wind and Time nodded to him before going back to collecting their ill gotten gains. Twilight was wrapped around Wild, shaking and staring at the tire as if it were a traitor.  
Warriors spoke up after a moment of peace and silence, "Hey guys, isn't that Sky's weird sword thing?"  
There was an eldritch scream of anger that scraped their bones, ripping their ears as a burst of light flashed in the other room.  
"wait wha-?"  
"FOUR HOLY SHIT"  
"ANARCHY AHAHAHAHA"  


**Author's Note:**

> I know way to much about brownies to contribute to this fandom.  
> I'm so tired my dudes, I've been drawing non stop and now have way to much fanart I need to digitalize. On another note I love Noodle and she deserves the world.  
> Sorry if you find mistakes, this was typed out on a thing that has no spell check and also doesn't capitalize the beginnings of sentences. This results in google autocorrecting my shit. Also sorry its so short, I just didn't want it to get to long.  
> This au is way to adorable and sweet, four could legit be a dead dude tho depending on what place the brownie folklore originates from and that's kinda depressing.  
> Imma write more, got a whole story thing semi planned, but id rather focus on making tiny shit stories about the adventures of Noodle.
> 
> Y'all are wonderful people, thank you for just being here  
> -Kyle


End file.
